ACCEPT the LOVE, SEIZE the GOOD…why is that harder for some than… giving the Love…sharing the good?
There are givers and takers, at first blush one might assume that the more challenging task would be in the giving rather than the receiving. However for many of us taking requires a much greater sacrifice... taking requires a drink of humility and trust that for some is just too bitter.
So we quietly attempt to position ourselves in the seat of benefactor …hoping our acts of generosity will mask our inability to receive, but what we fail to see is that we are denying someone else of that very role. What appears altruistic and selfless is in fact our most selfish act...the giving has become the taking and such the taking the giving.
Is this simply another symptom of a hungry ego, a need to feel grand and powerful? Yes and no, ego feed, no doubt, but for many, much more than the need to feel grand is fear…the fear of losing control…the fear of being let down, first by ourselves that we are not capable of answering our own needs...second by others, by allowing dependency on others we are exposing a vulnerability that is often too great a risk.
Trust and Love …again it spirals back to here…like taking a crowbar to a rusted safe as we slowly pry it open the light begins to enter ...changing nothing inside merely illuminating the space...we must pry open our hearts and allow love and trust to irrigate its chambers. From here we will have the ability (if we choose) to cultivate the seeds of faith...faith in ourselves and faith in others and begin to engage in relationships of mutual dependence and support where we will permit others to share not only the joys of our successes but also the pain of our failures. Enjoying...perhaps for the first time in a long time a truly healthy relationship.
MAJOR POINT…. PLEASE do not allow this to be misconstrued in an way as to judge those who give… most who give do so with no ulterior motives, their actions are fueled only by a desire to improve the lives of others.
This is dedicated to those of us who believed we had constructed a fail-safe system to insure the safety of our hearts without realizing the most detrimental effect on our hearts is a lack of love.
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7 comments:
Hi Suzi
This is a great point to make. I continually give as this is what I love to do and the personal rewards are great. However I do have to say that I find it a little difficult to take. I hadn't thought of it in this way, as denying somebody else the opportunity to give. I will remember this.
Julieanne
Juileanne...you are such a giver...you can see it in your blog and your posts, you are very quick to help...and please don't stop that. Its balancing the giving and the taking that is our challenge…so I bet you have a lot of taking to do!!
Suzi
Finally someone has recognized the virtue of receiving. I have always questioned what good was all the generosity in the world without those to receive. Besides, who among us does not need to receive on a constant basis? Are we not alway in a constant state of reception? Do we not have to breath and eat somewhat regularly in order to survive? Your last entry was on Perseverance. One of my favorite quotes is from Calvin Coolidge. It is: "Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." I used to think the words of this quote were flawless. With you last two entries I now see an alternative view. It is not our relentless pursuit, our pressing on, our give, give, give that is solely important. But also it is our ability to receive and accept. Perhaps most importantly to receive the gifts of who we are inherently, to understand who we are and accept our talents, our uniqueness, and what we have learned along the way. When we live in acceptance of these, we become examples of our greatest selves and thereby are in the best position to give and receive the very best life has to offer.
Finally someone has recognized the virtue of receiving. I have always questioned what good was all the generosity in the world without those to receive. Besides, who among us does not need to receive on a constant basis? Are we not alway in a constant state of reception? Do we not have to breath and eat somewhat regularly in order to survive? Your last entry was on Perseverance. One of my favorite quotes is from Calvin Coolidge. It is: "Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." I used to think the words of this quote were flawless. With you last two entries I now see an alternative view. It is not our relentless pursuit, our pressing on, our give, give, give that is solely important. But also it is our ability to receive and accept. Perhaps most importantly to receive the gifts of who we are inherently, to understand who we are and accept our talents, our uniqueness, and what we have learned along the way. When we live in acceptance of these, we become examples of our greatest selves and thereby are in the best position to give and receive the very best life has to offer.
Yle,
Beautifully and brilliantly written.
Thank you,
suzi
Hi Suzi
I just wanted to share a story with you as if I had not read this post when I did I would have reacted differently.
I have recently been helping a friend of my mother's in Australia to build a website. We have been doing this over Skype and she insisted on paying me.
As it is difficult to transfer money internationally I suggested that maybe she could buy me a book off my amazon wishlist instead. She was more than happy to do this so...
I went to check my wishlist and she had bought the whole list for me.
If I had not read your post I would have insisted that she cancel some of them but she was insistent and told me that if there had of been more on there she would have bought them for me as well.
I have to say that it was difficult for me to allow this but as it was so timely I resigned myself to the fact that I was being taught a lesson in allowing and receiving.
So thank you!
Live and learn... and read :)
Julieanne
Julieanne...Thank you for sharing that story..isn't life funny how the events line up to teach us...the important thing is that we listen..as you did..GOOD JOB!!
suzi
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